• brown hourglass

    Once upon a time, in a pool hall in Florida…

    November 3, 2015 / No Comments

    On this day 25 years ago, I met my best friend and my high school sweetheart. At the time I had no idea that a chance encounter would lead to friendship and love. And now, a quarter of a century has passed. Where has the time gone?

    Amy and I were nearly inseparable for a good long while. She and I knew each other so well that we could finish each other’s sentences. Hell, half the time, we could read each other’s minds. As for Chris, he was my first love. He set the romantic standard for all others to follow, and for most of our relationship, I wanted nothing more than to be near him.

    Even now, I’m still struck by the fact that they’re both gone. They were such strange and unique people, kind and passionate, funny and flawed. But most of all, so alive. I have lived a lifetime without them, unable to pick up the phone and catch up, or hop in the car and go for a drive. In grief, I remain friends with their ghosts, but it is not the same.

    What I wouldn’t give for just a few more hours together. We could eat cheap pizza, play Phase 10, listen to great music and talk about anything and everything. And when it was time for them to once again return to the land of Death, I could give them both big breasty hugs before saying farewell.

    Today, it’s their hugs I miss the most.

  • birthday cake

    The ultimate gift

    November 2, 2015 / No Comments

    Several very kind and generous people have been messaging me about what I want for my birthday/Yule/Xmas. Since so many of you are far away, I went ahead and created a wishlist on Amazon. However, if you’d rather support a cause I hold dear, then please sign up to be an organ donor.

    Currently, more than 120,000 Americans are waiting list candidates for organ transplants. A new name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list every 10 minutes. And every day, 18 of those people die because a match was unavailable.

    It’s so easy to become a donor. Simply fill out a card or check the box on your driver’s license application. Then tell your family and friends about your decision. That way, if anything ever happens to you, they’ll know to sign the consent form and honor your wishes. Having this discussion with your loved ones also offers you the opportunity to encourage them to learn more about organ donation.

    Age isn’t a factor. Neither is gender or race. Organs and tissue can be donated by anyone who decides to help others. You don’t have to have a physical exam to see if your organs are good enough to donate. Medical suitability is determined at the time of death.

    If you ever become seriously injured or ill, the doctors will give you the best care available. The decision to donate your organs has no effect on the amount or quality of medical care you’ll receive. Your life is the first priority. But if don’t pull through, the hospital can use your forethought and generosity to save other people’s lives.

    What can be donated? You decide. Personally, I signed up for the whole shebang. When I’m gone, the United Network for Organ Sharing can have my heart, kidneys, pancreas, lungs, liver, intestines, eyes, skin and bone marrow. It’s not like I’ll be able to use them.

    Once those organs are harvested, strict federal guidelines will ensure ethical and equitable distribution. Patients in the immediate area who are critically ill will get first dibs. If no suitable match is found, the organs will be offered regionally, then nationally.

    Organ donation is free. Almost all major religions in the United States consider it an acceptable medical practice. And it’s one of the few opportunities for anyone to achieve a sort of immortality. Yet millions of people still haven’t filled out an organ donation card.

    Hopefully, that will change today.

    Donate LIfe

    –Photo by Zsuzsanna Kilian. Used with permission.

  • migraine

    In a moderate amount of pain, yet so grateful

    October 26, 2015 / No Comments

    I suffered through 21 migraines this summer, several of which lasted for days at a time. These vicious headaches were often accompanied by nausea, vomiting, exhaustion, blurry vision or blindness, dizziness, muscle fatigue or fever, or a combination of all of these symptoms.

    Each hot June, July and August day left me filled with pain — or filled with dread that the pain would return. It was a miserable way to live and there were moments when I just didn’t want to bother anymore.

    Then Autumn arrived and the temperatures dropped and the weight of misery lifted from my shoulders. Four weeks passed without a single migraine. Four whole weeks. It was fucking awesome.

    Although a migraine attached itself to my brain last night, I know this moment of suffering will be short-lived. And I am so unbelievably grateful that the next few months will be relatively pain-free.

  • Full Moon

    5 confessions of a jaded mind

    October 25, 2015 / No Comments

    * Darkness gets a bad rap. It’s the light that blinds you.

    * After a lifetime of study and experimentation, I am definitely an atheist. But if I had to choose one religion, I’d probably opt for paganism.

    * I’d be far more interested in politics if the people who run for office were more principled.

    * I just don’t like white chocolate.

    * If I was a billionaire, I’d gladly sign the giving pledge.

    –Photo by Julie Elliott-Abshire. Used with permission.