“The groundwork of all happiness is health.” –Leigh Hunt

“The groundwork of all happiness is health.” –Leigh Hunt

February 21, 2016 / No Comments

My health, it’s fine: I saw the doctor for a complete physical last week and she ruled that I was in good health. However, now that I am officially middle-aged, she encouraged me to get more exercise and sleep, and to watch my moles for unexplained changes. I asked for tips about how to unwind, mostly because the weight of stress from work has been bearing down on my shoulders lately. Other than encouraging me to do some yoga, she had no helpful advice. For that I will have to look elsewhere.

M’s health, it’s mending: M caught his second cold of the year last week and was less than thrilled about it. The two of us rarely get sick, which is why this physical setback left him feeling a wee bit grumpy. Thankfully, the cold was a small one, giving him the icks, the sniffles, the sneezes and the tireds rather than the more serious coughs, aches and fevers. We stayed inside this weekend and mostly just read and watched Hulu as he recuperated.

The tumor, it grows: Sera’s cancer, on the other hand, is getting worse and while my anger about her dying is something I work hard to manage, it occasionally boils over (fuck Cancer). The tumor on her breast has tripled in size since November and it’s clearly taking a toll on her small, furry body. When the cancer reaches her lungs, we will take Sera to the vet and end her ordeal. But in the meantime, she remains in good spirits and I intend to do everything I can to keep her that way.
My place in the world

August 19, 2015 / No Comments

“You’re going to make choices that don’t seem important. There’s little ones like, what’s side of the bed do you want? Yeah, oh, I thought that was trivial. That’s your side for LIFE right there!” –Ray Romano

Last night, while watching a favorite film, I noticed that two of the characters, a long-married couple, ate dinner at a wide, rectangular table. The man sat at one end and the woman at the other, with two seats on each side of the table between them. It was clear from the story that they had always sat in these places, and for many years, children or guests occupied the middle seats. Once the children had grown and moved away, the two remained in their separate corners, still in love and still separated by the gulf of habit and space.

This stuck me as odd, even though I’ve seen similar tableaux my whole life. Yet when I eat a meal at a long table with M, it never occurs to me to sit so far away from him. Oh, I’m sure it’s more proper to do so, particularly when there are guests over for dinner, but my place has always been by his side.

When we first met, I think we sat this way to be closer as we were flush with the headiness of new love. But we’ve been together for nine years now, and the seating arrangement hasn’t changed. We always choose to sit near rather than far.

M and I have adopted similar arrangements for other activities too. We walk down the street, and he’s typically on the side that’s closest to the road. During a movie or show, he’s on my right. In bed, he’s usually on my left. I could be wrong but I don’t think there was ever a moment where one of us formally declared, “This is my side.” It just happened naturally, and now, over time has become our tradition, part of what Stephen King describes as the “interior language of marriage.”
Seasonal slump, a quest for home and bookstore ruminations

June 24, 2015 / No Comments

So Summer has arrived and well… blech. But I shall endeavor to keep my seasonal grumpiness to myself. Just know that I dream of central air conditioning.

In recent weeks, M and I have been house-hunting and preparing to apply for mortgage applications. The first activity is fun, the second incredibly stressful. We really want to embark on to the next phase of our life, and that will involve moving, so both activities are required.

One thing I’ve learned during this process is how compatible we are. I knew we loved each other and got along fabulously, but our tastes are very similar too. Where they diverge, the differences are minor.

We also share a desire to make the other happy, which comes in handy while examining potential abodes. Best of all, after more than nine years together, we know each other’s likes and dislikes intimately, so much so that I’d feel entirely confident sending him out into the world to find us a home. Whichever place he picked would be perfect for our family. Knowing this type of relationship is so rare just makes me appreciate it all the more.

In other news, I miss bookstores. Oh, they’re still around, there’s just not enough of them. Bookstores call to me when I’m bored or curious or determined, when I’m killing time between movies or when I want to look at books that I don’t already own and the library’s closed.

Lastly, I wish time would stop whenever I read a book. Can someone make that happen? Thanks!
Pass the salt, love

May 26, 2015 / No Comments

You know those elderly couples who eat together, silently, at restaurants? Don’t pity them.

Yes, some couples may be ignoring each other or have run out of things to say. But I’ll bet a few of them are having a grand time. They’ve just been together so long that they can communicate telepathically.

(Photo by cjhallman)
New York City, food, books, friends and love

April 7, 2015 / No Comments

M and I recently had the pleasure of taking a very quick trip to New York City. We celebrated the 9th anniversary of our first date by enjoying a long walk through Manhattan, eating real pizza, splurging on ice cream sundaes from Serendipity 3 and generally just loving every second we got to spend together.

Other things that happened:

* We tried two new restaurants — Five Napkin Burger and Polpette — both of which were excellent.

* According to his Fitbit, M walked more than 70,000 steps. Because he’s insane.

* I walked about a third of that and still managed to develop huge, squishy, debilitating blisters on both of my feet. The last two days of the trip were spent hobbling, which made me feel old. Very old.

* We had the opportunity to see movies in the morning and late at night, neither of which we can do in New Hampshire.

* The company of friends was thoroughly enjoyed.

* A rousing game of Cards Against Humanity ensued, one that will be forever remembered for its hilarious use of tentacle porn and corn starch.

* M turned me around on a hot button political issue.

* A fictional president fired his wife.

* I finally learned who Castle’s father was.

* We went on a shopping spree at The Strand. Here’s what I’ll be reading in the months and years to come: