I’m simply unable to stop myself

I’m simply unable to stop myself

April 3, 2017 / 2 Comments

Over the weekend, Marcus and I celebrated our 11th anniversary by going out to dinner and visiting an area book store.

As is our wont, we separate moments after walking through the front door, stroll solo down the aisles and peruse volumes that catch our attention. Then, much like at parties, we’ll reunite for a short time to catch up on our latest discoveries and examine current endurance levels. If our spirits are high, we’ll part again and continue the browsing. Otherwise, we’ll check out and head home.

During our first check-in on Saturday night, M remarked that after just 15 minutes in the store, I had already found two books to purchase.

“It’s still early,” I warned.

The next time he saw me — about 20 minutes later — I was carrying an entire basket filled with books, a sight that made him laugh and shake his head at the same time.

Here’s our loot:
A marriage, even in grief

March 19, 2017 / No Comments

…To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as you both shall live?

One of the best parts of marriage is that a shared history gives you an understanding of how your spouse will react in certain situations. Over time, you will experience highs and lows, triumphs and tragedies, and all of the middling life stuff that occurs in between.

This weekend, M and I sat on the floor of our library and watched our eldest cat take her final breaths. When the light left her eyes, we pet her soft fur for the last time and weeped.

Once the tears finally abated, the mourning process began. This is something that we experience very differently. Sharing stories about the deceased helps him, as does actively seeking distraction. For me, I need to efficiently deal with the cleanup of Death’s visit and then I prefer to grieve alone, in silence.

These two styles don’t always mesh, and yet because we’ve been together so long, we’ve managed to figure out a way to face such difficulties together. Generally this involves doing what one person wants, followed by the other, trading coping mechanisms until the sadness stops overwhelming all else.

Loss is agonizing, even when expected. But sharing it with someone you love — someone who truly understands your nature — does make it a little more manageable. I am grateful for him, and for us.
2016: The Year In Review

December 21, 2016 / 1 Comment

At the end of each year, I always take a moment to examine the ups and downs I experienced. What follows is my personal and professional review of 2016. I:

* Produced hundreds of breaking news stories about the worldwide refugee crisis, the slaughter in Syria, the 2016 Rio Olympics, the Brexit referendum, the Black Lives Matter movement, the Orlando nightclub massacre, the spread of the Zika virus, the Panama Papers leak, the North Korea nuclear tests, dozens of terror attacks, the Juno probe’s arrival in Jupiter’s orbit, the impeachment of Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff, the 2016 election and countless celebrity deaths.

* Passed the 45,000th tweet mark on my personal Twitter account (@jadewalker).

* Entered an essay contest to win a house in Maine.

* Penned 68 journal entries.

* Wrote 2 poems.

* Worked on my novel.

* Interviewed by Vanessa Lowe for the Nocturne podcast.

* Walked over 1.06 million steps (more than 445 miles) and climbed over 1,060 floors.

* Read 50 books and numerous magazines.

* Watched 39 films and dozens of TV programs.

* Updated The Written Word and The 10th Muse mailing lists.

* Participated in the The Society of Professional Obituary Writers, the New York City Writers Group, the South Florida Freelancers Group, the Journalism & Women Symposium and the Author’s Guild.

* Launched the New Hampshire Writers Guild.

* Traveled to Maine.

* Twice hosted vacationing friends.

* Completed three escape room adventures (and died twice).

* Crossed off an item from my bucket list (was locked inside a bookstore late at night).

* Participated in National Readathon Day.

* Saw Henry Rollins in concert.

* Attended two plays: “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and “The Stone Witch.”

* Shot off a large cache of fireworks.

* Completed the Zombies, Run! 5K Virtual Race.

* Suffered from at least 23 migraines.

* Spent nine months caring for my youngest cat Sera, who had terminal cancer, then mourned when she died.

* Celebrated my 7th wedding anniversary.

* Helped my husband find a new job after he was laid off.

* Lived separately from M for months once he landed a great position at a university in Massachusetts.

* Revealed my entire financial background to various firms to qualify for a mortgage.

* Viewed dozens of houses in three states, trying to find one we could afford.

* Bought our first home.

* Turned 43.

Goals for 2017

* Finish unpacking.

* Work on my fiction.

* Write more obits.

* Read at least 50 books.

* Win the lottery.
Spending Saturday night with my two favorite men

July 31, 2016 / No Comments

Due to circumstances beyond our control, time and money will be in short supply in the near future. With this in mind, M and I decided to go out for dinner and a movie. Better to enjoy the moment than stress about what had already come to pass.

While waiting for the entrée to arrive, we discussed the origin of my new book’s hero. I had a general plot line in place, but my muse still hadn’t introduced me to the novel’s protagonist or explained how to invite him into the story. M’s a great sounding board for such things because he’s a reader, and thus able to recognize good storytelling. So there we sat, munching on bread and spit-balling ideas on how to get this ghost of a character to reveal himself.

As we talked, I realized once again how much I adore my husband. First, he didn’t mind spending time listening to me go on and on about the other (albeit fictional) man in my life. He also made the perfect suggestion about my hero’s backstory. As soon as he said it, I felt like I’d been struck by lightning. This idea was so good the hair on the back of my neck stood up. And that’s when the character stepped out of the ether and into my Imagination.

I could see him. I could even deduce his name.

Although the server brought our food then, I no longer wanted to eat or watch the movie. But I wasn’t about to reward my spouse’s generosity by bailing on him, which is why I ate and headed to the theater. After we arrived back home, I strode into my office, grabbed a notepad and started writing.

Inspiration had arrived!

–Photo by AlexStar
Relationship advice: No assembly required

April 1, 2016 / 1 Comment

I used to think that road trips and cross-country moves were the best ways to test the strength of a relationship. But I’d also add “assembling furniture” to that list.

Seriously, IKEA probably kills more relationships than Ashley Madison.

(Note: M and I are fine, and the new TV stand looks great. But next time, we’re hiring a guy.)