• Treacle and her woobie

    My cat has a woobie

    Over the years, my cats have amassed quite the collection of toys. Every week or so, I walk around the house and gather them into one of three (yes, three) toy boxes, just to avoid the destruction of yet another vacuum.

    Many of these toys are your feline standard: crunchy balls, caged balls with bells in ’em, fake mice, things with feathers. Then there are the ordinary items our cats have turned into playthings, such as aluminum foil balls, wrapping paper and empty boxes. Our brood of six also has quite the collection of scratching posts, kitty condos, heated mats as well as their own room for food and litter boxes.

    Which is to say, they’re utterly spoiled.

    And yet, for dear Treacle, no toy compares to her woobie. She loves this toy more than any other. Oh, she’ll chase after a crinkle ball or catnip-scented sachet, but she won’t play with it. Once she realizes the toy we’ve thrown is not her woobie, she turns up her little black nose and walks away.

    Toss her woobie across the room, however, and Treacle will run full tilt to retrieve it. She’ll pick it up with her mouth, run back to you and spit the toy at your feet. Then, she’ll begin to trill, demanding that you throw the toy again.

    If you do so, and angle the toss about 3 feet off the ground, Treacle will leap into the air for it. Sometimes she’ll catch it with her paws; other times it’ll sail just beyond her reach and she’ll joyfully chase after it.

    Often the speed at which Treacle runs to catch her woobie is so fast that she can’t stop in time (Newton’s First Law). She’ll slide across the wood floor, sailing right past the toy and thump fluffily against the wall. She doesn’t mind, though. She just picks herself up, grabs the toy, runs back and spits it out at your feet. With black liquid eyes, she’ll look up at you and beg for another toss. Should you fail to comply with her polite plea, she’ll shove the toy closer and start meowing.

    The woobie occasionally escapes from Treacle’s grasp, sliding under a door and into a room that’s out of bounds (bathroom, basement, bedrooms). When this happens, she’ll return to you, sans toy, and insist that you retrieve it. Light forbid you have anything else to do, such as cook dinner or work. No, no. You must stop everything and GET HER WOOBIE. At which point, the toss-and-retrieval process begins again.

    The woobie started out as a toy mouse but over time, it has transformed, Velveteen Rabbit-like, into a stuffed grey lump. Its ears are gone. So are its eyes and its nose. Tail? What tail? Lost that months ago. It’s even had abdominal surgery to stitch up wear and tear.

    Occasionally, Treacle will take it upon herself to clean the woobie by dunking it in her water bowl. Once it’s thoroughly soaked, she’ll bring the disgusting, sopping toy over and demand that you play fetch. If you throw it, the “mouse” lands with a gross splat and leaves a tell-tale puddle on the floor. Since I have no wish to play with a wet toy or have dirty floors, I send the woobie to purgatory (i.e., over a heating vent inside a forbidden room to dry). Treacle remains noticeably unhappy until this process is completed.

    M and I used to complain that our dog Duncan wouldn’t play fetch for more than a toss or two. Treacle has taken the game in the other direction and entreats everyone to play with her — right now.

    Good thing she’s so adorable.

  • 2016: The Year In Review

    At the end of each year, I always take a moment to examine the ups and downs I experienced. What follows is my personal and professional review of 2016. I:

    * Produced hundreds of breaking news stories about the worldwide refugee crisis, the slaughter in Syria, the 2016 Rio Olympics, the Brexit referendum, the Black Lives Matter movement, the Orlando nightclub massacre, the spread of the Zika virus, the Panama Papers leak, the North Korea nuclear tests, dozens of terror attacks, the Juno probe’s arrival in Jupiter’s orbit, the impeachment of Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff, the 2016 election and countless celebrity deaths.

    * Passed the 45,000th tweet mark on my personal Twitter account (@jadewalker).

    * Entered an essay contest to win a house in Maine.

    * Penned 68 journal entries.

    * Wrote 2 poems.

    * Worked on my novel.

    * Interviewed by Vanessa Lowe for the Nocturne podcast.

    * Walked over 1.06 million steps (more than 445 miles) and climbed over 1,060 floors.

    * Read 50 books and numerous magazines.

    * Watched 39 films and dozens of TV programs.

    * Updated The Written Word and The 10th Muse mailing lists.

    * Participated in the The Society of Professional Obituary Writers, the New York City Writers Group, the South Florida Freelancers Group, the Journalism & Women Symposium and the Author’s Guild.

    * Launched the New Hampshire Writers Guild.

    * Traveled to Maine.

    * Twice hosted vacationing friends.

    * Completed three escape room adventures (and died twice).

    * Crossed off an item from my bucket list (was locked inside a bookstore late at night).

    * Participated in National Readathon Day.

    * Saw Henry Rollins in concert.

    * Attended two plays: “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and “The Stone Witch.”

    * Shot off a large cache of fireworks.

    * Completed the Zombies, Run! 5K Virtual Race.

    * Suffered from at least 23 migraines.

    * Spent nine months caring for my youngest cat Sera, who had terminal cancer, then mourned when she died.

    * Celebrated my 7th wedding anniversary.

    * Helped my husband find a new job after he was laid off.

    * Lived separately from M for months once he landed a great position at a university in Massachusetts.

    * Revealed my entire financial background to various firms to qualify for a mortgage.

    * Viewed dozens of houses in three states, trying to find one we could afford.

    * Bought our first home.

    * Turned 43.


    End of the year

    Goals for 2017

    * Finish unpacking.

    * Work on my fiction.

    * Write more obits.

    * Read at least 50 books.

    * Win the lottery.

  • sera in the suitcase

    Spotted shirts and other minor inconveniences

    Lately I’ve been buying my T-shirts on sale and in bulk. All the ones I own have stains on them.

    This is not entirely unusual since I’m a large-breasted woman who clumsily consumes food. I also have terrible luck; ask me about the ketchup incident some time. Most of these stains disappear or fade over time.

    The difficult-to-remove stains come from my youngest cat, Sera. As many of you know, our wee girl is dying of cancer. The tumor on her breast has grown so massive that it occasionally splits open and secretes a clear or bloody fluid. We’ve placed puppy-training pads throughout the house — on floors, pillows, couches — to make her comfortable and to keep the tumor from staining everything, but I rarely have one handy when she’s in need of some snuggling. So I carefully pick her up, place her on my pillowy rack and let her sleep for as long as she wants.

    When Sera is ready to get down, she leaves both a stain and a little heartbreak in her wake.

  • Sometimes, it pays to notice the little things

    Sometimes, it pays to notice the little things. Once in a great while, when you do so, the Fates will throw fewer knots in your way.

    Today, I:

    * experienced a good dream (yes, vampires were involved).

    * woke up without a migraine — or the promise of a migraine — for the first time in a week.

    * went downstairs and rejoiced in the fact that my youngest cat, Sera, was still alive.

    * didn’t start to sweat after leaving the shower because the temperatures had begun to drop.

    * tried on a new summer-y blouse and it fit.

    * ate dinner at a local restaurant and everything was cooked correctly.

    * enjoyed ice cream for dessert and it was simply divine.

    * stopped by the local movie house and learned that the film we wanted to see was just about to start.

    * watched a movie where nothing blew up, a couple fell in love and nobody died.

    * returned home and was immediately covered by all the animals who missed me while I was out.

    * kissed my husband good night and did some productive writing.

    All in all, it was a pretty good day, particularly for June. I am grateful.