• Haunted house

    Real estate revelations between spouses

    M and I are looking to buy some property, preferably in New England. We want a detached house in good working order, 3 or 4 bedrooms, minimum 2 bathrooms, a large kitchen/pantry, at least one fireplace, wood floors and a good bit of land for beauty and privacy. It can’t be located in a flood zone or somewhere that has a high risk of drought or fire.

    Oh, and it can’t cost an arm and a leg.

    We’ve been looking for two years now and while we’ve found some wonderful properties, none of them have worked out. So, our search continues — mostly on Redfin and Zillow. We favorite the places that most appeal to us and discuss them in great detail during the times when we’re both awake. If one of us is sleeping, the other will leave short notes to describe why a place will or will not work.

    Here are some typical notes we’ve exchanged:

    “Nope, nope, nope. Flooding.”

    “Has some nice features (back from the road, overall design, greenhouse). However, the kitchen is small and the laundry is in the basement. Zestimate says it’s worth about half of what they’re asking though Redfin agrees with their price.”

    “Not as much land as we’d hoped but it’s on a dead end and the views are gorgeous.”

    “Lovely home but oh my god, that kitchen is bloody awful. So small!”

    “The kitchen looks decent. I really like the look of some of these rooms. Looks too expensive and probably too big for us but nice!”

    And then there’s the tidbit I wrote last week:

    “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I want to move to Detroit. This place is amazing. And also, I believe haunted.”

  • Quote of the day

    “My heat came from a small wood-burning stove, and keeping the tiny house at the right temperature, it turned out, required the same kind of constant low-level attention as my Twitter feed. When the fire was out, I missed it. It made me less lonely to hear it in the background: the mutter of the kindling, the sigh as a log caught, the little coughs, then quiet, as it burned down into ash.” –Lois Beckett

  • Letterpress letters

    Mark my words v.4

    As I’ve mentioned in past blog posts (seen here, here and here), I’m drawn to certain words. The attraction is often a word’s meaning or spelling, but sometimes I just like the way a word rolls off my tongue.

    These are more of my favorites:

    Aforementioned

    Smitten

    Brontide

    Escabeche

    Whippoorwills

    Whirligigs

    Hyppolyta

    Stroopwafel

    Frass

    Bombogenesis

    Prognostication

    Schenectady

    Damask

    Fabulist

    Moribund

    Kismet

  • Secret

    Thanks for letting me in on the open secret

    My dad didn’t read books or possess a library card and the only magazine he ever subscribed to was Playboy. I remember when it would arrive in the mail; each issue was wrapped in black plastic. I’m sure the Family Research Council demanded the opaque covering to preserve their own twisted version of “family values,” but in the end, it was that mysterious wrapping that inspired me to don my Nancy Drew hat and search for the publication in my dad’s nightstand. I just had to know what it was hiding. Alas, I was sorely disappointed to find images of naked women within the publication’s pages. I had expected the secret to be far more exciting.

    It wasn’t until I was in college that I learned the magazine’s open secret. My boyfriend’s father had died and he’d inherited his dad’s porn collection. While sifting through the boxes together, I picked up a couple of “classic” issues of Playboy and perused the pages. Still didn’t see the huge allure. Then my boyfriend explained that the Playboy bunny logo was hidden on the front cover of each issue. From that moment on, every time I came across a Playboy, I’d search the cover until I found the bunny. Doing so reminded me of my youth, when I used to spend time in doctors’ waiting rooms doing the Hidden Pictures game in Highlights magazine.

    My interest in cooking lead to another open secret discovery. Turns out that each issue of Cook’s Country magazine includes a hidden rooster. Find that tiny image amongst the recipes, taste tests and equipment reviews and you’ll be entered into a random drawing. Top prize is a year-long membership to the magazine’s website. Second and third prize winners receive the company’s latest cookbook. I’ve read this publication for years and to date, I’ve only found that damn cock once. Hat’s off to the page designer.

    Writer/director/producer Chuck Lorre is known as the “King of Sitcoms.” It’s highly likely you’ve seen one of his many shows. “Grace Under Fire,” “Dharma & Greg,” “Roseanne,” “The Big Bang Theory” and “The Kominsky Method” are just a few in his portfolio. What I didn’t know was Chuck’s open secret: He includes a message in the vanity cards during the end credits. Some are funny, some are just odd and a few have apparently been known to cause a bit of controversy. M and I recently started watching the show “Mike and Molly” and we were probably five or six episodes in when we noticed these little gems. Now I’m going to be looking for them in every Chuck Lorre Production.

    Perhaps you will too.

  • The delayed satisfaction of gift certificates

    My friends and family know that I love buying, borrowing, reading, sharing and discussing books yet they rarely purchase them for me. Since I read so much and so widely, they’re never sure if the book they’re considering for a gift is one I’ve already consumed. And so, in defeat, they often buy me gift certificates and apologize for doing so.

    But I’m here to say that there’s no need to be sorry at all! Gift certificates are a boon. Why, there are few things I enjoy more than allowing myself to go wild in a bookstore, either online or in person. Which is why as soon as the holidays ended, I hopped online and indulged in the delayed satisfaction of post-birthday and Christmas receiving.

    As a way to support small businesses, my employer gave each worker a $100 gift certificate. Although we could use it at one of several dozen stores, I opted to spend mine at Bookshop.org, a site that allows bibliophiles to shop online while also supporting local bookstores.

    I picked up:

    * “The Bookshop Hotel” by A.K. Klemm

    * “Oddball, 4: A Sarah’s Scribbles Collection” by Sarah Andersen

    * “Deliciously Foxtrot” by Bill Amend

    * “You Are an Artist: Assignments to Spark Creation” by Sarah Urist Green

    * “Bake with Anna Olson: More Than 125 Simple, Scrumptious and Sensational Recipes to Make You a Better Baker”

    Total cost — including delivery — after the gift certificate? A whopping 67 cents. Best of all, I have hours of reading, laughter, creative pursuits and baking ahead of me.

    That’s what I call a true gift.