5 most common phrases overheard in the Walker-Weir household

5 most common phrases overheard in the Walker-Weir household

August 25, 2022 / No Comments

If you happened to be passing by the windows of our home, sitting at the dining room table or listening on the other end of the phone, you’re very likely to hear one of these statements:

1. Get off the table! (Yes, this is directed at the cats, not M.)

2. Sweet dreams. See also: Nighty night, rabbit. (Due to our opposite schedules, we rarely get the pleasure of sleeping in the same bed at the same time.)

3. Kill ’em a lot! (M is a gamer. I slay people in fiction.)

4. Five minutes. (Generally uttered after putting the kettle on for tea. For a snooze request, I ask for 10 minutes.)

5. I love you, my heart. (Also: my own, my love, my sugar plum and sweetie pie. We’re foolish romantics. What can I say?)
Christmas in July

July 10, 2018 / No Comments

Married couples inevitably create small traditions that when repeated year after year become part of their shared history. One of our favorite traditions is to buy a new ornament for the Christmas tree each year, a purchase we make in July.

Buying a Christmas ornament in the middle of the summer serves four purposes. One, ornaments tend to go on sale in July. And since we get ours personalized with the appropriate names/dates, I take advantage of these sales to save a little money.

Two, the simple practice of searching through ornament sites, finding the best options and sharing them with my husband reminds me that Christmas is coming. No matter how hot things are now or how much pressure the state of the world is placing on our heads, there is something joyful in our future.

Three, purchasing the annual ornament officially marks the start of my Christmas-buying season. That’s right; I’m one of those crazy folks who starts shopping for friends and family six months in advance. But doing so means I also have six months to pay off all those bills — and avoid the inevitable stress that comes from adding one more thing to my holiday “to do” list. Instead, by doing all of my shopping between now and November, I have the time to search for sales, find just the right gift (rather than settling for whatever is left on store shelves) and get it wrapped in time. Plus, with all of my shopping done, I can dedicate the month of December to baking, putting up the tree and stress-free revelry.

Lastly, buying our ornament each year reinforces my sense of optimism that we’ll still be together come Yuletide. You never know when illness or accident will strike, when economies will stumble or when Death will reap. But we bought the 2018 ornament so hopefully all will be well when we pull it out of storage in December and place it upon our tree — together.
Relationship advice: No assembly required

April 1, 2016 / 1 Comment

I used to think that road trips and cross-country moves were the best ways to test the strength of a relationship. But I’d also add “assembling furniture” to that list.

Seriously, IKEA probably kills more relationships than Ashley Madison.

(Note: M and I are fine, and the new TV stand looks great. But next time, we’re hiring a guy.)
Once upon a time, in a pool hall in Florida…

November 3, 2015 / No Comments

On this day 25 years ago, I met my best friend and my high school sweetheart. At the time I had no idea that a chance encounter would lead to friendship and love. And now, a quarter of a century has passed. Where has the time gone?

Amy and I were nearly inseparable for a good long while. She and I knew each other so well that we could finish each other’s sentences. Hell, half the time, we could read each other’s minds. As for Chris, he was my first love. He set the romantic standard for all others to follow, and for most of our relationship, I wanted nothing more than to be near him.

Even now, I’m still struck by the fact that they’re both gone. They were such strange and unique people, kind and passionate, funny and flawed. But most of all, so alive. I have lived a lifetime without them, unable to pick up the phone and catch up, or hop in the car and go for a drive. In grief, I remain friends with their ghosts, but it is not the same.

What I wouldn’t give for just a few more hours together. We could eat cheap pizza, play Phase 10, listen to great music and talk about anything and everything. And when it was time for them to once again return to the land of Death, I could give them both big breasty hugs before saying farewell.

Today, it’s their hugs I miss the most.
My place in the world

August 19, 2015 / No Comments

“You’re going to make choices that don’t seem important. There’s little ones like, what’s side of the bed do you want? Yeah, oh, I thought that was trivial. That’s your side for LIFE right there!” –Ray Romano

Last night, while watching a favorite film, I noticed that two of the characters, a long-married couple, ate dinner at a wide, rectangular table. The man sat at one end and the woman at the other, with two seats on each side of the table between them. It was clear from the story that they had always sat in these places, and for many years, children or guests occupied the middle seats. Once the children had grown and moved away, the two remained in their separate corners, still in love and still separated by the gulf of habit and space.

This stuck me as odd, even though I’ve seen similar tableaux my whole life. Yet when I eat a meal at a long table with M, it never occurs to me to sit so far away from him. Oh, I’m sure it’s more proper to do so, particularly when there are guests over for dinner, but my place has always been by his side.

When we first met, I think we sat this way to be closer as we were flush with the headiness of new love. But we’ve been together for nine years now, and the seating arrangement hasn’t changed. We always choose to sit near rather than far.

M and I have adopted similar arrangements for other activities too. We walk down the street, and he’s typically on the side that’s closest to the road. During a movie or show, he’s on my right. In bed, he’s usually on my left. I could be wrong but I don’t think there was ever a moment where one of us formally declared, “This is my side.” It just happened naturally, and now, over time has become our tradition, part of what Stephen King describes as the “interior language of marriage.”