• Duncan and Christmas tree

    Farewell, sweet boy

    Duncan Hines. Duncan Donuts. The Duncanator. Puppyface. He was a dog known by many names, but the one he officially received upon his appearance in our lives back in 2010 was Duncan Walker Weir.

    He died last night at the age of 9 after suffering from a brain tumor.

    Duncan was part of a litter of puppies born on a Vermont farm. As a birthday present to himself, Marcus adopted Duncan on the same day his friend Sherry adopted Duncan’s brother, Shakazulu. This meant the pups, who were nearly identical, would be able to spend their lives together.

    Duncan's first ice cream

    Duncan and Shakazulu

    If we went out of town, Duncan would stay at Shaka’s house and vice versa. It was during one of these visits that the brothers invented the game “Chase Me”:

    After one such sleepover at our place, Sherry and Shaka got into their car to head home. Apparently Duncan didn’t want them to leave yet so he broke away from M’s grasp and chased after their car. Several drivers swerved to avoid him, but one vehicle struck Duncan and kept going, leaving his broken body on the side of the road. As neighbors sped after the hit-and-run driver, M raced to Duncan’s side.

    Duncan survived the collision, thanks to the skills of emergency vets at the local animal hospital. He suffered multiple contusions and a broken hip that required both an operation and months of confinement. Eventually, Duncan did heal, but he never saw his brother again. Just before Duncan’s rehab was complete, another hit-and-run driver crashed into his brother. Sweet Shaka didn’t survive.

    Once back on his feet, Duncan resumed his favorite activities: playing an abbreviated version of fetch (he refused to bring the ball back more than once or twice), rolling in the grass with his feet wildly dancing in the air, going on leashless hikes through the woods, running through fallen leaves, bathing in snow drifts and chewing on his toys.

    Duncan and Sera on the couch

    The cats helped to raise Duncan so he never treated them like the enemy. Instead, he learned to purr as a sign of happiness (it sounded like a piggy grunt) and paid extra careful attention to his grooming habits. He befriended the neighbor’s outdoor tomcat, every squirrel who appeared in our yard and, unfortunately, a couple of less-than-thrilled skunks who he probably assumed were just smelly cats. After a litter of kittens arrived at our home last fall, Duncan immediately became their 90 lb. “big brother,” teaching them how to wrestle and beg for ham. And when our friends adopted a Golden Retriever puppy with special needs earlier this month, Duncan showed her the ropes.

    Duncan and Chai

    Strangers who met Duncan would often ask about his ancestry. We tended to describe him as a “Heinz 57” dog (i.e., a mixture of several breeds, an all-around mutt). Over the years, M and I agreed that he appeared to be a unique combination of German Shepherd, some sort of retriever, a bit of husky and possibly a smidge of beagle.

    Duncan generally preferred the company of women to men, though he made special allowances for the “pizza man.” This probably had more to do with the fact that we gave Duncan bits of our pizza crusts than an affinity for the fellow who delivered the pie. While kibble was his main source of sustenance and he was taught from an early age that it was impolite to beg, he still enjoyed the occasional piece of carrot, a hunk of cream cheese, a slice of salami and once, a stolen plate of pork chops.

    Duncan belly

    Duncan kept me company while I worked through the night. Until illness affected his ability to climb stairs, he also rested near my bed while I slept during the day. He liked reclining on the loveseats and on the big dog pillows, but would forego these spots if the kitties were sleeping there first. The very best place to rest, however, was at our feet or by our side. He just loved being near “his people.”

    In the few extended periods that we were separated from him, caregivers would remark on Duncan’s habit of waiting by the door or peering through the window, as if willing us to return.

    Even if we just went out to eat for dinner or to a movie, we’d find him waiting at the garage door, his expression and demeanor making it clear that it felt like we had been gone forever. This was even more true for M, who was Duncan’s favorite. Anyone who spent time in our house saw that Duncan loved us both, yet he worshiped and adored M.

    The two of them were boon companions. They swam together, did chores together, even went to work together. People on the hiking trails knew Duncan by sight, for he was friendly and well-behaved. M was simply known as “Duncan’s dad.” And when their stubborn personalities occasionally clashed, any disagreements were quickly forgiven.

    Once we learned that Duncan had only a few months left to live, we vowed to make the most of that time. So we gave Duncan belly and chest rubs, balls and toys, rides and runs, so many treats and lots of love. When the cancer began to affect his sight, mobility and demeanor, we decided it was time to put him down.

    Last night, after the vet gave Duncan the first shots — the ones that put him to sleep — he continued to look at us with his big, brown eyes. We pet his fur and told him how very much we loved him and it was clear he knew he would not die alone. Just before he received the fatal dose of medicine, Duncan gave M a few final licks and then he was gone.

  • Duncan Chai and Treacle

    Even without a watch, my dog can tell time

    Despite being a dog, Duncan knows when my husband is supposed to be home from work and will be waiting by the garage door at the correct time to greet him. Duncan understands that when he hears the shake of a medicine bottle, it’s time to take his pills (which are served wrapped inside a delicious slice of ham). And he comprehends when it’s time to eat breakfast because at 6 a.m. every day, he appears next to my desk and looks at me expectantly. Sometimes, he’ll even lick his lips.

    M generally feeds Duncan in the mornings. Yet on weekends, he sleeps in and that task falls to me. Sun up or still dark, daylight saving time or the old standard one, Duncan will appear at my desk exactly at 6, ready to be fed his bowl of kibble.

    This punctuality would be impressive in any 9-year-old animal. It’s even more so since Duncan has been battling brain cancer since December.

    He was sleeping under our feet in the living room when he suffered his first seizure. M and I immediately rushed him to the emergency animal hospital and after a barrage of tests, the staff said it was either epilepsy or a brain tumor.

    A visit to our regular vet — and even more tests — ruled out epilepsy, allergic reactions and even tick-related illnesses he might have caught. Nope, it was a tumor and the options available were not only expensive, but unlikely to help.

    The seizures continued and they were awful. They would always start when Duncan was sleeping, as if he’d gone too deep into Morpheus’ realm and had encountered trouble while trying to return to wakefulness. His entire body would convulse violently and his legs would either move in galloping circles, like he was running away, or stretch straight out and lock as if he’d been struck by lightning. His eyes would roll back into his head, his mouth would foam and his bladder would release.

    During each episode, we would kneel beside Duncan and speak in comforting tones. We’d keep his head from banging against the ground and count the minutes that he was under attack from the growing intruder inside his brain. Most seizures lasted a minute or two and then he’d come out of it feeling bewildered and confused. When his vision cleared, he’d look at us and not quite recognize our faces, even though we’re his “people.”

    Longer seizures or clusters would leave him unable to stand or unsteady on his feet once he could return to an upright position. At that point, the pacing would start, a frantic trot through the house, that would continue until he regained his bearings in the conscious world. Nothing consoled him during this period so we would use the time to clean up the mess left behind by the attack.

    Following examinations from a third vet, we began experimenting with all sorts of palliative options, such as acupuncture, massage, special “brain” food to boost his immune system and cognitive health and numerous meds, anything to keep the dreaded seizures at bay. And for the most part, these efforts have helped. But we’re not fooling ourselves. We know that cancer is a bloody bastard, one that continues to grow inside our beloved pup’s brain.

    M and I don’t have a clue about how much time we have left with Duncan so we’re trying to make the most of it. I just know that when he’s gone, 6 a.m. will be a painful daily reminder that he no longer needs to be fed.

  • Duncan begs

    The great pork chop caper

    Tonkatsu has been one of my favorite dishes ever since an ex-boyfriend introduced me to it nearly 20 years ago.

    On Saturday night, after M went to sleep, I decided to treat myself to a tonkatsu dinner. For those who are unfamiliar with this Japanese dish, imagine thin boneless pork chops, breaded with panko (Japanese bread crumbs), flash-fried and topped with a tangy and spicy brown sauce. The cutlets are usually served with a side of sticky sushi rice and a small salad.

    Even when cooking for one, the rice takes the longest so I got that started right away. As it percolated in the rice cooker, I turned my attention to setting up the breading station: a plate of flour, a bowl of beaten egg and a plate of panko. Once that was done, I took my two pork chops and very carefully cut them in half lengthwise, making them extra thin. Doing this allows the dish to feel a bit lighter; the pork cooks faster, too. Lastly, I filled the skillet with about 1/2-inch of vegetable oil and set the heat to medium-low. I knew that by the time the oil was ready, the rice would be nearly done. Since I had a few minutes to spare, I wrapped the chops in paper towels to blot out excess moisture, set them on the counter next to the breading station and returned to my office to answer a few emails.

    The time spent at my desk was both productive and brief. Knowing the oil wouldn’t take long, I typed swiftly. So it was only a few minutes later that I swiveled in my chair to face the door. I always do this before standing because my dog Duncan likes to sleep directly behind my desk chair and I don’t want to accidentally roll over him. This time, however, I was surprised to find that he wasn’t there. Nor was he sleeping on the loveseat against the wall. In fact, it had been quite a while since I had seen him.

    Any one who has children will understand the “uh oh” feeling that descends during such moments. It’s the dreadful one that makes you listen intently to your home because it’s quiet, too quiet. In our child-free and pet-filled house, there is a similar ritual, along with the sure knowledge that certain noises should always be present. Even at 3 a.m., silence was not the norm.

    As I stood and began to walk down the hallway, the sound of Duncan’s dog license and proof-of-rabies-shot medallion making a decidedly mischievous clink reached my ears and filled me with additional worry. But by the time I reached the kitchen, the room was empty.

    And all the pork chops were gone.

    Unlike the detectives in mystery novels, I didn’t need to study the evidence — empty space on the counter, two small scraps of paper towel lying on the ground — to figure out whodunit. I knew exactly who the culprit was.

    Sure enough, by the time I reached the living room, a shame-faced canine was lying low in his crate, guilt written all over him. He knew what he did was wrong and he knew I’d be furious. Yet that knowledge just couldn’t keep him from taking advantage of the situation. Apparently the punishment he knew he’d receive was well worth the crime.

    I’ll bet those chops were tasty.

  • Zombies Run

    Seeking music to move my feet

    While my husband was jaunting about Europe for his 40th birthday, I was tasked with walking our dog Duncan. To keep myself from going mad from boredom, I would take my iPhone along and turn on a wonderful app called Zombies, Run!.

    Here’s how it works: The zombie apocalypse has arrived. The undead are everywhere, and it’s your job to run/walk for a certain amount of time and obtain supplies for your tiny town of survivors. When zombies get near, you run/walk faster (thus providing interval training). All the while, the app’s characters are giving you orders, sharing stories and basically making you laugh. In between the story segments, the app connects to your workout playlist and plays your favorite tunes to keep your spirits high as you trudge through the monotony of exercise.

    The app’s tagline says it all: Get fit. Escape zombies. Become a hero.

    After using the app for more than 20 hours, I’m almost finished with the first season of adventures. I reached my step goal last week and will likely do so again this week. More importantly, I’m dreading these physical activities just a little bit less.

    The downside? I’m getting tired of my music. Here’s what I’ve been listening to:

    * $165 Million + Interest (Into) The Round Up by David Holmes
    * Abracadabra by the Steve Miller Band
    * Ain’t Nuthin’ But A She Thing by Salt-N-Pepa
    * All I Really Want by Alanis Morissette
    * Alphabet St. by Prince
    * Beat It by Michael Jackson
    * Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve
    * Bodyrock by Moby
    * Breakin’… There’s No Stopping Us (12″ Club Mix) by Ollie & Jerry
    * C’mon And Get My Love by Cathy Dennis
    * The Chemicals Between Us by Bush
    * The Classic Drum Battle by A&T
    * Diamond Dogs by Beck and David Bowie
    * Everybody by Black Box
    * (The Forgotten People) by Thievery Corporation
    * Freakshow On The Dance Floor by Bar-Kays
    * Freedom by George Michael
    * Get Off (Extended) by Prince
    * Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) by C+C Music Factory
    * Hard to Handle by The Black Crowes
    * If by Janet Jackson
    * Jazz Machine by Black Machine
    * Jump N’ Move by The Brand New Heavies [featuring Jamalski]
    * Jungle by Jamie N Commons & X Ambassadors
    * Let the Music Play by Shannon
    * Let’s Dance by David Bowie
    * Let’s Go Crazy by Prince
    * Living Dead GirlRob Zombie
    * Love Runs Out by OneRepublic
    * Man In the Box by Alice In Chains
    * Mas by Kinky
    * Modern Love by David Bowie
    * Open Of My Love by Jennifer Lopez
    * Peter Gunn by Art Of Noise
    * The Power by Snap!
    * Pump Up the Jam by Technotronic
    * Pump Up The Volume by Marrs
    * Push It (Remix) by Salt-N-Pepa
    * Raspberry Beret by Prince
    * Salome by Chayanne
    * Samba Hey (Magalena Mix) by el general
    * Shake Your Bon-Bon by Ricky Martin
    * Shakin’ by Eddie Money
    * She Bangs by Ricky Martin
    * Sidewalk Talk by Jellybean
    * Situation (US 12″ Remix) by Yaz
    * Slang by Def Leppard
    * Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson
    * Supermassive Black Hole by Muse
    * Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) by Eurythmics
    * Techno Rave Entrance by Blade
    * Thunder by Prince
    * Too Funky by George Michael
    * The Truth (feat. Roisin & J-Live) Techno Rave Entrance by Handsome Boy Modeling School
    * U Got the Look by Prince
    * UK Jamaican by Tricky
    * Unbelievable by EMF
    * Vogue by Madonna
    * Weapon Of Choice by Fatboy Slim
    * You Dropped a Bomb On Me (Single Version) by The Gap Band
    * You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive

    As you can see, I have eclectic tastes. While I do tend to prefer tunes from the ’80s and ’90s, I’m game to try just about anything with a good beat. If you have suggestions, feel free to leave ’em in the comments.

  • raven and books stamp

    A letterboxing adventure, part 2

    In an effort to dare myself to experiment more, I’ve set about about following Lu Ann Cahn’s example of engaging in fun and daring “firsts.” This is my list.

    One of these planned firsts involved going letterboxing, which, according to Atlas Quest “is an intriguing pastime combining artistic ability with delightful treasure-hunts in beautiful, scenic places.” You can learn more about it here.

    Last weekend, I put together a small bag of supplies (a rubber stamp, ink pad, letterboxing notebook, my cellphone) and piled into the car with M and our dog Duncan. The first park we visited turned out to be the wrong one, but after looking on the map for the actual location, we drove outside of town and parked next to a picnic pavillion. Then, the three of us trekked into the woods in search of the mysterious letterbox.

    Following the clues left on Atlas Quest, we climbed over trees, pushed aside leaves, stumbled over rocks, swatted away a million bugs and sweated buckets. Unfortunately, after about an hour of searching, M and I had reached the proverbial X on the map, but there was no treasure to be found.

    That’s right, our first letterboxing adventure was a total bust.

    I know there are people reading this who will say: “It wasn’t a bust. It’s the journey that matters, not the destination.”

    To those kind but delusional folks, I say PISH. If I could have teleported to the exact location and found the treasure, trust me, I would have. And I would have ended up a lot less hot, sweaty and annoyed.

    The only good thing about the whole experience was the end, in which we left the park and drove straight to Fast Eddie’s, one of our favorite ice cream stands. M and I both indulged in double scoops and Duncan cooled off with a small soft-serve vanilla in a cup.

    Despite this minor setback, I will not be deterred. Although our misadventure technically counts as a “first” and thus deserves to be crossed off my list, I plan to try again, because damn it, I must obtain at least one stamp!