• How privileged are you?

    Before taking this test, I felt pretty privileged. Although I’m a woman, I’m also white, straight, middle class, educated, able-bodied, married and independent. I fully recognize that there are many people in this world who face much bigger hurdles than I do. Still, I was curious.

    Ready to check your privilege? Here’s the quiz.

    My results were surprising:

    You live with 48 out of 100 points of privilege. You’re not privileged at all. You grew up with an intersectional, complicated identity, and life never let you forget it. You’ve had your fair share of struggles, and you’ve worked hard to overcome them. We do not live in an ideal world and you had to learn that the hard way.

    How privileged are you?

  • Chapter 1

    Spending Saturday night with my two favorite men

    Due to circumstances beyond our control, time and money will be in short supply in the near future. With this in mind, M and I decided to go out for dinner and a movie. Better to enjoy the moment than stress about what had already come to pass.

    While waiting for the entrée to arrive, we discussed the origin of my new book’s hero. I had a general plot line in place, but my muse still hadn’t introduced me to the novel’s protagonist or explained how to invite him into the story. M’s a great sounding board for such things because he’s a reader, and thus able to recognize good storytelling. So there we sat, munching on bread and spit-balling ideas on how to get this ghost of a character to reveal himself.

    As we talked, I realized once again how much I adore my husband. First, he didn’t mind spending time listening to me go on and on about the other (albeit fictional) man in my life. He also made the perfect suggestion about my hero’s backstory. As soon as he said it, I felt like I’d been struck by lightning. This idea was so good the hair on the back of my neck stood up. And that’s when the character stepped out of the ether and into my Imagination.

    I could see him. I could even deduce his name.

    Although the server brought our food then, I no longer wanted to eat or watch the movie. But I wasn’t about to reward my spouse’s generosity by bailing on him, which is why I ate and headed to the theater. After we arrived back home, I strode into my office, grabbed a notepad and started writing.

    Inspiration had arrived!

    –Photo by AlexStar

  • reading

    A spot to read, to write, to lose yourself

    When I was a child, my favorite place to read was inside my grandmother’s walk-in closet. It was dark and warm, a quiet place to take a book and get lost in another world. The clothes hanging from the racks above my head dampened the raucous, summery noises of Florida, and the pile of pillows I kept stacked behind my back made it feel like I was reclining on a cloud.

    Best of all, there were no boys allowed. This was key because my little brother and my cousin drove me mad, always wanting to play or get dirty or take the row boat out into the alligator-infested waters. At 11, none of these activities interested me. I just wanted to escape into “my room,” turn on a small lamp and read through the stacks of books I had borrowed from the library.

    That summer, James Thurber introduced me to Walter Mitty, and filled my mind with dreams and possibilities. Although doing so felt invasive, I read Anne Frank’s diary, and cried at the hardships she and her family suffered at the hands of the Nazis. I also became best buds with Edgar Allan Poe. Whenever I search my memory for that summer at my grandmother’s house, I can still hear the dead man’s heart beating under the closet floor.

    As an adult, I’ve read in cars, on trains, on planes, on couches and beds, in cafes, diners, libraries and in line. But it wasn’t until my honeymoon that I discovered another reading spot that rivaled my old walk-in closet.

    M and I rented a lovely cottage in the Highlands of Scotland. Downstairs, in the family room, there was a wall of windows, with a stunning view of Loch Broom and the hills beyond. If you stared out those windows long enough, you could see four different types of weather in just 15 minutes. Or perhaps you’d spy a large ship pulling into the port of Ullapool.

    On another wall, a stone fireplace filled the room with warmth, a soft light and a charming crackle. To the right of the couch was an upholstered chair and ottoman. While M was out exploring the backyard or climbing a nearby Marilyn, I parked myself in that chair. I stared at the fire and glanced out the windows while curled up under a periwinkle and cream throw. And, of course, I read.

    It was heaven.

    I returned to that very spot a couple of years later, and wrote the final chapter of my novel. Sometimes you sit at the computer and stare at the screen for hours, unable to see the words hidden in the whiteness of the screen. Sometimes, when the stars align and your muse is feeling generous, the words just flow like butter. On that day, in that chair, I closed my eyes and rapidly typed, eager to get the story on the page and fearful of losing the momentum of inspiration. When I finished the chapter, and wiped away the tears that trailed down my cheeks, I knew what I had written was golden.

    That is the power of a good spot.

    –Photo by Zsuzsa N.K.

  • Online News

    Quote of the day

    “The press can hold its magnifying glass up to our problems, bringing them into focus, illuminating issues heretofore unseen, or they can use that magnifying glass to light ants on fire and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous flaming ant epidemic.” –Jon Stewart

  • music cassette tape

    Expeditions in musical mischief

    A dear friend from high school is a music geek, and not surprisingly, he possesses a huge collection of songs. His musical tastes span the spectrum of genres, from rock to pop to ELM to Broadway soundtracks.

    For years, he’s created “mix tapes” — first on actual cassettes, later on CDs and MP3 playlists — that introduce his friends to new artists and extraordinary tunes. I’ve been a fortunate recipient of many of these tapes, and listening to them has broadened my musical horizons in so many ways.

    To thank him for his latest gift (hilariously titled “Touch That Fishy”), I went ahead and curated a mix tape of my own. If you’re interested in listening to it, send me an email and I’ll forward the link.

    –Photo by Eduardo Schäfer