Orange flowers from yard

A short-term attempt at positivity

“Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” – Francesca Reigler

In an effort to be more positive, I added this item to my “Year of Firsts” list: Avoid saying anything negative for a whole day.

Generally I’m not a negative person. I revel in the daily joys and fly high whenever fate throws grand moments my way. When difficulties occur, I do my level best to weather them, though not always as gracefully as I would like.

I’m also trained to be an unbiased observer, taking in details and conversations and actions without judging the environs or participants involved. It is only later, after the event is over and after the story is written that I really take the time to process what happened. In the past, I would lose myself in the dark of a movie theater and decompress while praying to the gods of cinema, or wander the stacks of a used book store or library, searching for answers and adventure. Now, I generally turn to my animals for a few moments of affection, and to M for feedback, insight and consolation.

Despite my nature, training and coping mechanisms, completing this “first” was no easy task. For on the night I decided to launch the experiment, so many people and events tried my patience. When these moments irked me to the point of exasperation, I remembered the goal and bit my tongue. In my head, however, I was engaging in a full-on Yosemite Sam tantrum.

So what did I learn about myself at the end of the night? Two things:

A) No matter how much you try to control things, the world will occasionally throw a wrench in your plans, anger you to the point of white hot fury and leave you disappointed. How you deal with these situations is what matters (and what others will remember).

2) I must make time every day to count my blessings. Even just for 60 seconds. Doing so helps keep me centered and focused.

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